Last night we were awoken by our German Shepherd barking like someone was breaking into the house. We have a house alarm so I wasn't overly concerned, but his barking was over-the-top, especially for the middle of the night. Farmer B got up and tried to calm him down, but his fur was standing up and he was quite unsettled. He finally got him back in his dog bed and we went back to sleep when it all started again around dawn. Something was under his skin and it wasn't in his head.
We got up this morning and honestly forgot all about the barking until I let the dog out when I woke up. He made a beeline for the garden and started woofing and sniffing around in circles. Then I saw it.
It was still quite dark out, but I saw a creature disappear under our back fence as our dog went ballistic and charged the fence with full force. I took one look at the garden and put the pieces of the puzzle together. The garden is trashed. There's not a plant or a seedling or a trellis or a teepee still in place. I almost fell over. I just couldn't believe it. I thought about crying, but I think I was still too shocked at that point.
I'm a Florida wildlife buff so I knew what that dark hairy back and big fat tail belonged to, but honestly I never imagined I'd see one - let alone on my property - let alone with pieces of my garden stuck to its paws. It was a rare Florida Sun Badger. Many people think badgers are just in cold weather climates, but just like Africa has the Honey Badger, Florida has the Sun Badger. They're smaller than typical badgers, but they're as fierce as their counterparts and love to dig. Their bodies are slightly browner than a regular badger, but they do have black in them too, especially on their legs and tail. They have a yellowish burst of color on them, which is probably why they're called the Sun Badger.
I looked them up online and discovered that there are less than 500 left in Florida and they are on the endangered species list. It says that if one is discovered on your property that you cannot do anything to deter the animal from returning since they are so rare. I'm also supposed to call the Florida Wildlife Commission to report a sighting.
So my garden is history and I can't do a thing about it because this creature will probably just be back. I'm just so devastated. I really can't even begin to process it all. I guess Mother Nature is trying to tell me something and it's probably time to give up this unskilled gardening gig. Luckily we have the chickens now and it'll be great for us to shift our focus to them. I'll try to get out later and take some photos after the disappointment wears off. Thanks for all the support up to this point though… we really do appreciate it....oh....and what's the date again today? :)
Kate, I'm so sorry! Big((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteAPRIL FOOLS!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you all appreciated the joke!
WOW Kate...you got me...and I was in tears for you.
ReplyDeleteWatch out..payback is coming
Okay - now I feel guilty that Dani posted such a sweet consolation before I managed to get my "April Fools" comment in.
ReplyDeleteThat just shows what a nice and supportive group of people garden bloggers are...
My dad and I prided ourselves on fooling each other with over-the-top, but harmless, April Fools Day pranks. Now that he's gone, I thought I'd continue the trend on my blog. Hope you all found it amusing...
Very funny. How the hell do you have such a creative mind. Love it though. Had me fooled.
ReplyDeleteYou are so bad girlfriend! ;0
ReplyDeleteNow thgat i am over the sadness...
ReplyDeleteBoy are you funny...and I thought at my age I could not be fooled.
Kate, not only are you hilarious but a very creative writer too...Glad you are continuing your dad's tradition. You are forgiven..keep writing your blog..we love it
You totally had me fooled, even after I was already fooled once this morning! Haha thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteKate, you got me. I was thinking "man, she can't get a break for anything". Ha! Good one.....
ReplyDeleteEG
LOL - well I'm glad you guys liked it.
ReplyDeleteI should add that there is no such thing as a "Florida Sun Badger" - I made the whole thing up.
However, our dog did bark like mad twice last night, waking us up. When we got up this morning an animal had spread our trash all over our front lawn... so that was my inspiration.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteYou did an excellent job. It was brilliantly conceived and well written. Had I not been preconditioned by my now adult children trying to pull one over on old dad on this day every year AI would have been fooled for sure. But being keenly aware of the date I did not fall for your trickery. Love the blog.
Man, I totally believed you! We had a groundhog wipe out our garden once - my dogs did the same thing (barking ferociously) so I totally believed it! Thank goodness it wasn't true!!!
ReplyDeleteI am SUCH a sucker! I just re-read JL's potty rock post and thinking how silly I was for falling for that, and come to find out I was duped again! I even told DH about the badger's wrath, LOL.
ReplyDeleteI guess I am gullible after all.
I thought for sure that there was a Florida Sun Badger. The story is great!
ReplyDeleteThat was very evil Kate - I was feeling bad for you for a few minutes. Ingenious and creative...but evil all the same!
ReplyDeleteACK! I just started reading your blog and was sitting here jaw agape and feeling so bad for you and your garden. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI've had mole/voles and went out one day to see why my eggplant plants were so droopy. Chewed stems right at ground level.
OMG. That was a good one. I'm running late for work, but when I saw the title I couldn't help myself. I had to read it. Oh, that was soooooo good.
ReplyDelete