Garden Blogger's Death Day :: July 2009

Ding, Ding, Ding… bring out your dead!

Welcome to Garden Blogger's Death Day for the month of July, 2009! This is the day for gardeners who overwater, underwater, maim, prune or otherwise neglect their plants to a state of dismal droopage or untimely death. This is the day for gardeners like me with black thumbs who kill more than they cultivate, for cadmium-green-thumbed gardeners who have a lapse in judgment and commit accidental planticide, and for any poor soul whose plants fall victim to that fickle mother who controls us all - Mother Nature.


Since my garden is all but dead right now and anxiously awaiting the Fall crop to be planted, I don't have much alive to brag about. And everything that died has found a new home in the compost bin where it's warm and dark and cozy. You'd be hard-pressed to find a Central Florida garden that's still producing vegetables after this many 90+ degree summer days - at least this is what I tell myself when I look at the barren wasteland that is my vegetable garden.

But I did find a couple of interesting things in the garden this month that have "Death Day" written all over them.

The first is a lovely specimen that I found on an okra plant that was hiding in the corner of my garden amongst some weeds up against the garden fence. This could easily be from a prehistoric gardening exhibit and was quite bizarre looking.


Yes, that is a petrified okra. It was very crispy and apparently took one look at the deathscape that is my garden and expired.

Finally I was quite upset that none of my potatoes grew at all. I wasn't surprised, but I was a bit upset because I cling to the hope that something will grow. When I was pulling the final weeds out of the garden I grabbed ahold of a particularly gnarly-looking weed and was quite surprised to see some baby potatoes clinging to life on the end of the weed.


I guess some of them did sprout - oops. I was too quick on the draw with the weeds again. Such is life - or death, I suppose.

So how about all of you? What fell victim to your gardening wrath this month? Feel free to leave a comment with a link to your blog showing what you killed or maimed this month. We're here for you. Let's not judge, but support each other like a good pair of pantyhose or a well-staked garden trellis.

Chicken Poo B-i-n-g-o

Since my garden is awaiting the Raised Bed Fairy to come in the middle of the night and leave behind beautiful hand-crafted raised beds for me to plant our fall crop, I've decided to focus on chickens this week because I am not waiting for any kind of chicken fairy to magically appear.

This blog entry is not for the overly-polite readers. You've gotta be okay with exploring a little bit of the crass underbelly of the chicken world. We're not talking cock-fighting. We're talking chicken sh*t b-i-n-g-o.

Really.


Oddly enough I heard about this on Time magazine's website. I found a delightful little video showing how chicken sh*t b-i-n-g-o works, complete with interviews of the founders of this wonderful event. If you decide to watch the video, be prepared to hear the phrase "chicken sh*t" repeatedly, so don't watch it at work or in front of the kids or with grandma.

Click here to watch the video on Time.com

A group of people betting on which square a chicken will poo on is something you have to see to fully appreciate.

I am not new to the world of animal defecation gambling. When I was in college a popular event was Moo Poo B-i-n-g-o. The student association roped off an enormous square of grass on campus and used chalk (like the kind to spray-paint white lines on a ball field) to mark out a checkerboard pattern on the grass. Each square was numbered and a crude fence of tape and wooden 1x2 posts was placed around the edge of the field.

Students could buy a square for a small sum of money - about $2-$5, I think. The proceeds all went to some worthy charity. Us college students sat around the large grass checkerboard and cheered when a big-bellied dairy cow was led onto the grass. An old guy in overalls had the cow on a rope leash and was walking her back and forth across all the squares so each person got an equal chance of winning.

When the cow stopped, we all gasped. When the cow peed, we all prematurely started to cheer and then let out a huge "Awwwwwww……" of disappointment.

Finally, after an eternity, the cow pooped. The poop splattered into two squares, but the rules stated that the initial point of impact was the winner. Some lucky kid jumped up and grabbed his prize - it was about $100 I think - a small fortune when you're in college. The several hundred dollars from our entry fees went to a charity and the field was cleared for the following day's event.

It really is an awesome way to raise money for a charity. Back then I used to work for the college newspaper and I did a story on the event. I recall asking the organizers why they picked a cow as the animal of choice. The answer was simple: Cows are big, generally calm, and poop a lot, And you need an animal who's guaranteed to poop to make it successful. An animal that has one large dollop of poo is much better than an animal that walks and leaves a trail of small poo, such as a goat.

I suppose chicken sh*t b-i-n-g-o is just a smaller scale version of the same thing. Maybe "poultry poo b-i-n-g-o" would be more socially acceptable, but likely less popular in that biker bar shown on the Time website's video.

Aren't you glad I brought all this to your attention? I'm sure my mom is very proud of what I learned in college after reading this.

(NOTE: I had to change all the "b" words to b-i-n-g-o with dashes the hopes of avoiding a horrible spammer who has commented about 5 times a day for about 6 months now with b-i-n-g-o website links. I'm hoping by cutting out the "b" word in my post that this spammer might give up on this post since I'm sure it's just an automated robot scanning blogs for the "b" word and then writing the same comment with links to "b" websites. My next step is to delete the photo since it's saved with a "b" word that the spammer could pick up on. I'm so sick of these daily spammer comments that I'll delete this post if they don't go away.)

The Chicken Chapel - the mother of all chicken coops

Since I have thrown myself head-first into the world of chickens I have uncovered some very unusual chicken-related things on the web that beg for comment. We've already discussed the awesomeness that is the chicken diaper, and now I think it's time to present the most wonderful and amazing chicken coop I have ever seen. This isn't just a fancy chicken coop - it's definitely a masterpiece of chicken art unlike anything you can ever imagine...and also a place for chickens to worship? Presenting...The Chicken Chapel.


photo from http://www.andreazuill.com/JeanBenelli.asp

I first learned about "The Chicken Chapel" here where the artist, Jean Benelli, writes a description that really paints an amazing picture of her work:

"There are 8 glass stained glass windows in all. The windows tell the story of Christ depicted as a rooster. The rooster is the symbol of Christ (in my work). The words in the west windows say "Hen House" in the Latin alphabet, Latin being the language of the church. Inside the coop, the ceiling is painted a sky blue with 300 tin stars attached. The chandelier is wrought iron with ceramic chickens and gold gilt eggs. The chickens represent the 12 disciples, and Christ. The four gilt eggs represent the four apostles.
I have also painted a picture of an icon depicting Penelope, Patron Saint of Chickens (made up Saint), along with rubber chickens of the Crucifixion and Resurrection. Soon, it will have a Mosaic Foundation in red, blue, green and yellow tile, and a steeple.
My chickens don't know that their coop is not finished!!!
It has been a two and a half year project. It took me one year to build the windows.
My artwork is quite odd to most people. It is mostly chicken saints and icons, some in watercolor and some in neon. I am having a good time, anyway.
I am included in many art shows, but few people actually buy.
Thank-You for your interest, I do love my chickens!!!
- Jean Benelli" (- from http://shilala.com/coopofdistinction.html)

I went to Jean Benelli's website and was seriously gobsmacked by the grandeur of The Chicken Chapel, as well as her other unique chicken art. The one photo I have placed on my blog is too small to appreciate the grandeur of the coop and does not do it justice at all. You must go to her site to see detailed photos of the coop with close-ups of the stained glass and how it all looks lit up at night.

Have you ever seen a more unique and amazing way to house chickens in your life?

Wildlife Weekend :: Egghead

Our local town is well-known for one thing: wild chickens. I'm not sure there is such a thing as "wild" chickens since chickens are considered domesticated, but we call them wild chickens nonetheless. I do know two people - one adult and one child - who were badly gored in the leg by some angry wild local chickens, so maybe the term "wild" fits afterall. Now that I'm in the big chicken circle of life, I'm convinced these were actually rogue roosters who attacked these people.

Rogue roosters. Wild chickens. It all makes perfect sense doesn't it?


Our local library has a lone rooster who roams the parking lot and lurks behind the book return bin. I'd say he's a bantam something-or-other because he's quite small compared to our hens. He is also surprisingly friendly for a wild creature of the outdoors.

He really is a beautiful little thing and pecks around the cars in the parking lot hoping for a handout. I'd say he's well fed because the parking lot is always littered with crackers and goldfish from the hoards of toddlers who show up for morning storytime.

My boys have decided that he must be a very smart rooster if his home turf is the library. I suppose that's why we call him Egghead.

The Ultimate Indoor Photo Treasure Hunt

Remember last year when I made the Ultimate Backyard Photo Treasure Hunt for the boys and it was an insanely huge hit? We've re-earthed it a couple of times and I've since added some photos to it to make it more challenging. The problem is, it's 175 degrees out with 800% humidity these days and we (meaning "I") avoid spending too much time in the backyard. This leaves us with two very cranky housebound boys and one very cranky me who spends all day trying to come up with things to do - most of which are shot down instantly.

I decided to take my own advice from the Backyard Treasure Hunt and make The Ultimate Indoor Photo Treasure Hunt for the boys. I put this together in about 15 minutes and it was such a huge hit. Farmer B was home when the boys went on the hunt and was smiling ear to ear watching them tear around the house.


I set up the Treasure Hunt by going around the house and taking photos of everything I could think of. Being creative and taking pictures of items that could be moved around, such as a ride-on truck and the boys' little chairs, was definitely the way to go. I hid the ride-on truck behind some curtains and I put the Elmo chair in the front hallway. I also took some close-up photos that took the boys a minute to figure out the location of the clue.

Some other photos I took were:

Shoe basket
Underwear drawer
Toilet paper roll (they had to run to all 3 bathrooms trying to guess which one it was)
Paintings on the walls
Dog bed
Toys
Cat litter box
Vacuum cleaner
Key box
Dining room chair
Bed sheets

You get the idea. The dining room chair photo clue turned out great because I taped the next clue to the bottom of one of the chairs and since we have eight chairs this took them a few minutes of circling the table.


To set up the game, just take as many photos of things inside your house as you can. I think I took about 30 photos. I printed them out on cardstock paper, four to a page, and then cut them out. Farmer B took the boys outside while I set up the hunt. I started with a sign on the sliding glass door that told them a treasure hunt was on. The first photo clue was taped to the bottom of the note.




This photo clue was a picture of one of our barstools. The barstool with the photo clue taped to it was hidden in the hallway. When the boys found it and grabbed the clue, it sent them running to their playroom. I made sure that the clues were zigzagged around the house so there was a lot of running involved.



The final clue was on the patio hidden behind the pool boxes. It was a red bag (leftover from valentine's day) with a couple of little toys in it and two Tootsie Roll lollipops. The boys were completely overjoyed with the whole experience and said they can't wait for the next hunt. If you're stuck inside in the heat with some bored kids who aren't old enough to read real scavenger hunt clues, you've got to try this easy and fun activity. You can reuse it by changing up the order of the clues and moving some of the moveable clues to different places in the house.

Trip to the Farmer's Market

Farmer B had to work again this weekend so the boys and I trekked out to the local Farmer's Market for a look around. I'm embarrassed to say that we've never been to the Farmer's Market before, but it's quite a drive and it always gets put off, especially since it closes up shop at 1 pm and is only open one day a week. Today was the day to finally make the drive out there and I'm so glad we did.

The Winter Park Farmer's Market boasts that its Central Florida's number one produce and plant market. It's located at an old train depot in the picturesque city of Winter Park. Parking was easy, the atmosphere was great and it was a wonderful day out.











The boys favorite part of the day was watching the real kettle corn cooking over the fire - and of course eating the entire bag between them (with my help). I loved all the fresh produce, flowers, coffees, cakes, pastries, breads, honey, cheeses and homemade foods. There were so many people and dogs enjoying the day and it made me realize how much I miss having Baillan around. Rommel is a great dog, but I miss having a big, fat, yellow lump on the end of a leash. I told myself I'd get another dog once Jace starts kindergarten, but that's a long way off...

We'll be sure to make this Farmer's Market part of our normal routine now and try to hit it up as often as we can. Since I'm not growing much myself right now at least I can support local farmers who do know how to grow things right.

Wildlife Weekend :: If You Wish To Live and Thrive. . .

My maternal grandmother died when I was just shy of my 5th birthday, so I don't have a lot of memories of her. Those that I do have are the random moments that must have stood out to me at that young age. One thing I do remember her saying - and my mother too - is a little ditty about spiders. I'm quite sure it's an English Nursery Rhyme and I'm not sure how common it is in the U.S.


"If you wish to live and thrive, let a spider run alive."


I'm not sure my Nan had these creepy beasties in mind when she used to say that to me. I have no clue what kind of spiders these are, but there are plenty of them on our back patio and our back yard. If I'm really lucky I walk through one of their webs first thing in the morning and get a faceful. I then proceed to do the spiderweb dance that most people are familiar with. You know the one - where you look like you're having a seizure and you paw and your face and hair while jumping around and hoping the web spinner isn't crawling down your shirt. Yes, that's the one.

I don't recall hearing about poisionous or biting spiders while living in England. We used to have "money spiders," and my Nan used to tell me if you saw a money spider it meant you were coming into money. That's a lot more romantic than seeing one of these brightly-colored arachnids creeping up your leg. There are no cute sayings about them. Blech.