I know some of you out there have chickens and some of you plan to get chickens one day, so I feel like it's up to me to bring you this important public service message about egg safety. I figure it's the least I can do to save you from going through what I went through tonight.
I always end my day by going out to the chicken coop and putting my girls to bed. I check that they have food and water and collect any eggs that were laid during the day. Then I lock the door to the coop to keep them safe from nocturnal evil-doers while they're sleeping.
Tonight I collected two perfect freshly-laid brown eggs and noticed their waterer was just about empty. The problem is I had my cell phone in one hand, the two eggs in the other hand, and I didn't have a free hand to carry the empty waterer. I decided to put the eggs in my pocket, which I often do, so that I could have a free hand.
I then bent down to unhook the waterer from the clip that suspends it in the middle of the chicken coop.
Important egg safety lesson: If you're going to put eggs in your pants pocket, don't bend over.
The best part was that I had a broken egg and an unbroken egg in my pocket.
Fishing out the slippery yolk-covered unbroken egg was loads of fun.
I ended up with egg on my shirt, all over my jeans and my right hand, and running down my leg and dripping on my shoe.
Like sharks in freshly-chummed waters, the dogs honed in on the scent immediately. They then proceeded to madly lick my gooey slimy pocket as the yolk dripped on their heads.
It really was a delightful way to end the evening.
I can't promise I'll never do that again.
Of course, I'm not proud to admit that.